Obscurity
Baby Girl,
Stop what you’re doing and go sit down. The housework can wait. We’re alone and I want to talk to you heart to heart.
You don’t even know what I’m going to say and your eyes are already filling with tears. Close your eyes and feel as I cradle your precious little face in My hands.
You. Are. So. Beautiful. You have never been more beautiful in your entire life.
You spent all those years chasing the approval of women you admired believing that if one of them would see something valuable in you that you would be worthy of respect. When I reached My hands out to cradle your face, you felt the same electricity shoot through your body that you experienced when your friend cradled your face, told you that you were beautiful, and kissed you.
Your desire for women was never sexual, which is why you were always so confused. You desired intimacy from the deepest, most vulnerable part of your soul. You longed to be known - deeply known, seen, and cherished. Baby Girl, I know you in a way no human can know you. I see you, and I cherish you.
You and that dictionary… go ahead.
Cherish = to protect and care for someone lovingly; to hold someone dear
Yes. I cherish you. I prize you. I am jealous for your attention.
Go ahead. Jealous = the third definition. I am fiercely protective and vigilant (keeping careful watch for possible danger or difficulties) of My possession.
You’ve poured your heart out freely and recklessly to anyone who would listen. Somewhere in that tender little heart of yours, you had a longing that has never been satisfied until now. I have satisfied every part of who you are and what you desire in this life.
I. Am. So. Proud. Of. You. I’ve never been prouder of you than I am right now.
Close your eyes. I’m not done.
Do you remember how impressed you were with your daughter on Christmas morning when she rattled off 800+ digits of Pi? Pi is infinite. All the books in the world could not contain the digits of Pi because, as soon as you fill up the last book on earth, you’d need to grab another. That is a silly example of infinity, but that is how extensive my LOVE for you is, Baby Girl.
Is there a cell in your body that does not feel My LOVE for you right now? No. You’re completely aware of the depth of My LOVE.
Are you willing to go away with Me for a while? Are you willing to live in obscurity for a time?
Go ahead… look it up.
Obscurity = the state of being unknown, inconspicuous, or unimportant; the quality of being difficult to understand
I’ll wait. I know you’re dying to define inconspicuous.
Inconspicuous = not clearly visible or attracting attention
I know I’ve asked a lot from you in the last several months, and I have been so proud of how easily you have given up everything I have asked for. I asked for most of your books and you didn’t withhold them. I asked for your favorite clothes and you gave them willingly with no questions asked. I asked for your earrings which you loved and, you not only gave me your earrings but you freely gave up all your jewelry. I asked for your hair color and you threw the last box away.
I asked for your memories; your trophies, metals, bios, and trinkets and you gave them ALL to Me. I asked for your birthday videos - the whole channel - and you didn’t pause. I asked you to delete most of your primary YouTube channel, including home videos, and you said yes. You were reluctant about some of your more popular videos but, with a little nudging, you agreed. I could go on, but we both know you were willing.
So, without explaining anything yet, are you willing to live in obscurity for a time?
Yes? Okay.
Delete ALL the contacts on your phone other than your immediate family on both sides, your inner circle, your mentor, your clients, your doctors, and the numbers you need because you parent your daughters. ALL OF THEM. Don’t withhold anyone else.
You are feeling like you want to throw up.
Am I asking too much?
Do you trust Me?
You have many questions… What about all the people you check in on? What about all the people you regularly reach out to let know you’re praying for them? What about all the people you let know when there is something important going on? What about your birthday greetings?
You are wanting to argue that you have all their addresses saved in their contacts. How will you send out your President’s Day cards? Let’s stop thinking about ALL the ways this will be inconvenient.
Anytime you hear from someone and you don’t recognize the number, you can say, without lying, that all the numbers were deleted from your phone so you will need to know who is reaching out.
You don’t need to understand why. Do you trust Me?
I realize you have HUNDREDS of phone numbers from women at both your current church and your last church. If you trust Me, delete them.
NO. You can’t transfer the numbers to your Excel database. You can’t write down where you know people from. You can’t save anything.
I understand there are parts of your past you will not be able to remember without the names in your phone. That’s okay. You have trusted Me with everything you own and who you are WHOLEHEARTEDLY for over four months now. Are you willing to trust Me with this?
YES. I was clear - everyone includes everyone at your recovery community. Everyone includes everyone. If you absolutely need to reach someone, you can find them on GroupMe or Planning Center.
Yes, you can keep the ladies you are discipling. You hear from them almost daily anyways.
NO. Stop asking questions. You are willing or you are not. I will respect your decision either way.
ATTAGIRL.
You won’t be sorry. I promise. Get some sleep.
LOVE,
Daddy
Colossians 3:2-3
