Introduction
WHEN HE HAD STOPPED SPEAKING, HE SAID TO SIMON, “LAUNCH OUT INTO THE DEEP AND LET DOWN YOUR NETS FOR A CATCH.” BUT SIMON ANSWERED AND SAID TO HIM, “MASTER, WE HAVE TOILED ALL NIGHT AND CAUGHT NOTHING; NEVERTHELESS AT YOUR WORD I WILL LET DOWN THE NET.” AND WHEN THEY HAD DONE THIS, THEY CAUGHT A GREAT NUMBER OF FISH, AND THEIR NET WAS BREAKING.
Luke 5:4-6
Dear Friends,
As your sister in Christ, I want to give you a glimpse into how I have come to know the heart of our Heavenly Father. What you will find in these letters is how the God of LOVE speaks to me in encouragement, correction, and direction.
To the world, there is nothing “normal” about hearing from God in this way - but normal is NOT what believers should expect when interacting with Him! We are His children and He provided us with The Holy Bible full of examples letting us know that He is a personal God.
I don’t know why He chooses to communicate with me through letters but I am not more special than any other child of God - we are all His favorites! Romans 8 tells us that God speaks to each one of His children through His Holy Spirit by bearing witness with our own spirit - that’s a promise.
The more I meditate on His Word, the more I discover just how diverse His methods of communication were throughout history. He spoke to men and women through angels. He spoke to prophets through unusual dreams and visions. He even gave dreams to pagan kings but used men of God to interpret them. He awoke Samuel from sleep by calling out his name, even though Samuel had never heard the voice of God. He spoke through a burning bush, a thick cloud, a gentle whisper - even a donkey!
When I Received My First Letter
In August 2022, I was recovering from a surgery that left me partially immobilized. Lying in my room, day after day, the Lord brought to mind the armor of God described in Ephesians 6. As I read through that passage, He began highlighting some things I hadn’t noticed before.
One night, at exactly 2:15 AM, I woke up with a single sentence repeating in my mind, “Don’t sit down.” I got up, pulled out my laptop, and, without editing a word, He gave me the first of many conversations in the form of a letter. I didn’t have context for some of what He said until a year later when He healed me of Bipolar 1 and ADHD.
I had been manic most of my adult life, so it was hard for family and friends to hear me say, “God healed my brain,” and not think I was just having another manic moment. As they continued to wrestle with doubt about my healing, God reminded me of that first letter; I read it dozens of times.
In the months that followed my healing, I became acutely aware that what had been diagnosed and medically treated as mental illness was actually the result of the enemy speaking lies to me and my ignorant agreement with those lies. There is absolutely a scientific, chemical change in the brain of a person who struggles with mental illness - but I now deeply believe there is a spiritual root to the struggles we experience in mental health.
I am not a mental health practitioner and am not giving medical advice. I am a healed child of God and am giving you my testimony!
What to Expect in the Letters
As you read these letters, you’ll see in places a particular word followed by an equal sign and a definition. For some of the words God said to me, I either had no idea what they meant or I knew I had an incomplete definition. Other words He used seemed to convey a deeper meaning that I wanted to understand. Reading these definitions helped my understanding and I pray they will be helpful as you read them, too.
At times, I kicked against what God was saying to me. I never questioned Him in a disrespectful or unbelieving way. I was just so hungry to understand what He was saying because I knew He was right, even if I didn’t yet know why. I long to see things the way He sees things. I’ve discovered He has a beautiful sense of humor and a lot of grace with our humanity - much more grace than I tend to have for myself.
Some of what He said to me or asked of me may sound extreme - but I have never felt anything but extreme LOVE from Him no matter what He has to say. His correction is so precious to me. It’s amazing how emotionally liberating it has been to let go of the things He’s asked of me. However, whenever I enthusiastically got rid of other things that He did not ask of me, He corrected me: “You have done everything I asked and more. ‘And more’ is not a good thing. ‘And more’ is a bad thing.”
As one pastor said, “it’s not a sin to carry a bowling ball when you’re running a marathon but it certainly makes the race harder!” I was running my race with both arms loaded and a backpack full of bowling balls! Through these letters, He has made it clear that, while certain things in my life were not sin, they were not helpful in running my race with Him. He has been helping me lighten my load and I am so much more peaceful, joyful, and content than ever before in my life.
Every letter is word for word as I received it from the Lord (with my own emphasis added here and there to convey the tone in which I heard it), every letter is addressed to me as His “Baby Girl,” and every letter is signed by Him calling Himself my “Daddy.”
Why call God “Daddy?”
Since I was five years old, God has always been my Heavenly Father. But for me, the idea of my Heavenly Father was He’s way up there and I’m way down here. He has a plan but He’s really just there to keep me in line. I never imagined Him caring about my emotions or my struggles. I just tried to be happy and make Him proud.
I needed to learn that it was safe to climb up into my Daddy’s lap, lay my head on His chest, and hear His heartbeat as I bared my soul to Him. I needed to experience the profound comfort and safety of God as a small child would experience in the arms of her daddy. These letters have helped me to do just that.
If your initial reaction to the use of the word “daddy” is offensive to you, ask Holy Spirit if there is a wound He needs to heal. I asked the Lord recently why I can freely and easily call Him Daddy sometimes… but other times, the most endearing thing I can say is "Dear Heavenly Father,” which was the only way I ever greeted Him before that first letter in 2022. This was His answer:
When you freely call me Daddy, you are aware of 5 things:
You're aware that I'm not only your Father but that I intimately know you and deeply LOVE you.
You don't just see yourself as my child but as My tenderhearted little one who needs the safety of her Daddy's embrace.
When you call me Daddy, you're coming to me with a clean conscience, a pure heart, and clean hands. You're not hiding anything.
You're excited to talk to me.
You understand that I'm just as excited to talk to you.
If you ever feel a pause in your spirit when you go to address me as Daddy, ask yourself:
Am I coming with the awareness that I am intimately known and deeply LOVED?
Are there things in my life that I am still trying to handle on my own or am I aware that I wasn't created to handle things on my own and I need God's involvement in every area of life?
Am I walking in right standing with God or are there areas of my life where I have impure motives, unaddressed sin, disobedience, or outright rebellion? Is there anything I'm consciously or subconsciously keeping from God?
Am I excited for the opportunity to talk to Him?
Do I believe that He is excited to hear from me?
I now feel a weighty desire to consistently address God as Daddy. After His explanation, coming to Him as my Daddy and with me as His dependent baby girl is the primary posture I want to have. If I can't come to Him with that kind of vulnerability, I know I'm missing something in my walk with Him and I need to address it.
God
G-o-d. Those three small letters are used to name an Ineffable Being. If you walk up to any 10 people in a room and ask them to describe God, you will get 10 unique answers describing the exact same God because there is only one God.
I’ve come to know God, my Heavenly Father, as my Daddy. I delight in climbing up into His lap as His precious little girl and tell Him all the exciting things in my life. I find great comfort in His embrace. A pastor once said, “God hates what hurts us - and sin hurts us.” When I heard that, I pictured myself curled up in my Daddy’s lap, and He had one arm holding me securely. With His other arm, He was holding my face toward His chest and covering my ear, as if He were protecting a toddler from violence. There is nothing of value that our Father God desires to keep from us. He desires for us to maintain our innocence because, with innocence, there is peace and joy. I am understanding now more than ever the command to come to God as a little child.
I’ve come to know Jesus, my Lord and Savior, as my Healer. There are 21 stories of Jesus healing people in the gospels and each time was unique. Some were obvious that everyone could see. Some were private that no one could see. To some of those healed, He said, “Go and tell everyone how much the Lord has done for you.” To others, He said, “Go and tell no one.” I have learned to wait for the Lord’s permission to share what God has done as my Healer - but all I really want to do is stand on a rooftop and shout, “HE DID IT FOR ME, HE CAN DO IT FOR YOU!”
Lastly, I’ve come to know the Holy Spirit as a Person, the living, breathing Spirit of God. Until recently, I only understood Him as a concept, and that concept kept me stuck in religious thinking for 39 years! I now know and have experienced for myself that Holy Spirit is indeed our Comforter, Teacher, Helper, Advocate, and Standby. He guides us into all truth and He is the key to walking in our freedom and victory. If you’ve accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you already have the indwelling Presence of Holy Spirit. He is waiting for you to turn to Him for everything. All the wisdom you’ll ever need is in you right now. Turn to Him and ask for His help.
Your Sister in Christ,
